This past year…

I’m 43 yrs. old and on September 7, 2022 I underwent vein surgery on my right calf. The surgeon damaged my lateral cutaneous nerve in that calf, and my life forever changed. Before the surgery, I was very active. I walked 2 miles a day. I ran all the errands for our family. I kept our house nice and clean. I did the laundry, cooked, took my son to and from school, did the grocery shopping, etc… I was very independent. Now, sometimes I can’t even get out of bed, and I depend on my husband and sometimes even my seven year old son for almost everything. Now, I can’t drive, walk down the street, or even walk just for fun. I can’t clean the whole house, cook, do the grocery shopping, or even drive my son to school.

On December 27, 2022, I saw a foot doctor. Even though, I was not seeing her for my nerve damage, she decided that she knew what would cure me of my pain, and that was Airrosti. I had never heard of Airrosti, but I trusted the doctor and went to the appointment she set up with Airrosti. On December 29, 2022, while halfway through the Airrosti treatment, I lost consciousness and was rushed to the ER. The doctors in the ER thought I was having a stroke, but that was ruled out. I was in the hospital for three days, I lost the ability to speak clearly, and I was in the most excruciating pain I have ever been in in my entire life. Since then I have been diagnosed with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. I have been told that I will probably live with this pain for the rest of my life.

The first time the doctor told me that I would live with this pain for the rest of my life, I was in shock. I am only 43. All my grandparents lived to be about 81. The thought of having to live in pain for 40 more years is daunting. The thought of not being able to drive, walk, run, do all the normal things I used to could do was overwhelming. There are days that I still can’t wrap my head around it. Some days I wake up, swing my legs over the bed, put my feet on the floor, and stand expecting not to feel pain, expecting everything to be normal, but it isn’t normal. CRPS is known as the suicide disease, and I know why. Sometimes the pain is so unbearable that I don’t know if I can go on, but GOD!

1 Peter 1:3 tells us, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,” I know that living hope. My Lord Jesus Christ has given me that hope. He has drawn me closer to Him. He has taught me to take it one day at a time. He has shown me that everyday that I am here on this earth is a blessing and is for a reason. That reason is to know Him more and to glorify Him in everything I do and say and to worship Him in all things. That is my purpose. I have to completely rely on Him and lean on Him for everything. I can’t get through this pain on my own. I have to turn to Him.

Oftentimes I audibly cry out to Him for help! I realize that I am so blessed because He has given me help in the form of my wonderful husband who loves me and holds my hand and helps me through every pain episode. God has also blessed me with an amazingly empathetic son, who is so sweet and caring and lightens my days! He has further blessed me with two caring parents who support me and my family. He has also blessed me with a wonderful Church family that has been praying for me and my family and bringing us comfort. And finally, God has blessed me with His Word, The Bible. In it He reveals Himself everyday and draws me closer to Him. God is with me. He is all around me. He is my Hope!

Even in Pain, I live with Hope!